Moving on !!

30 Dec

As a year comes to an end, so begins another. It makes me think can we ever move on to another, if we are still stuck up in the previous one.

I remember last year I promised myself to break the old strings and find new love. I wanted to move on. I absolutely loved my single life but I still felt that a part of me was in the past. Out of nowhere I felt that uneasiness and yearn for love. Random dating is not my scene and I knew I would not get out of past if I don’t fall in love again. I thought I would never be able to move on..and so I did fell in love again.

A fell in love with I knowing too well that it will be another heartbreak, for both of them. They knew that their love had a shelf life of few months. They keep on reminding each other that this is craziness and they are no teenagers but then to love and be wise exceeds man’s might. Now I is engaged to someone else and A wants to move on like they talked about all these months. But then why they end up calling each other defying all the logic and feels more miserable after that. Why it is so hard to move on even when they talked about it and break up was supposed to be amiable.

P ,one of the closest person in my life, is in love with S from last 8 years. I have been with her through her 100 break ups in those years, with the same man. They cheated on each other, yelled, abused, mis-behaved with each other’s friends, involved parents and friends in their dirty affair and still hanged on. I won’t call it love, but then why they become miserable each time they separate. They have innumerable options around to have fun , even to fall in love and today P asked me 100th time “ Di why I can’t get over him, I want to move on , but I can’t “ .  Will she be struggling herself till she finds another love?  Why is being happy without X is always synonymous with being happy with Y.

Why we reach to a point in a relationship where we become so helpless, we can’t stay in, we can’t move out. When we see another friend in the same situation, we have all the perfect suggestions to make, but when we find ourselves in the same shit, we don’t know how to get out. We do get out of situation after certain time and with the help of friends like J and a new brand love.

It took me almost three years and I thought I will never move on, but I know that I have finally when last week I could see his name on the screen and feel nothing. No pain, no happiness, I can smile on his silly status message and even ping to say hello. While I moved on from past, I am stuck with a present that I have to get rid of in future .Mess I know, love it is.

When someone breakup, it’s suggested to throw away all the things, burn the cards, even avoid the old restaurants and walk ways where you walked hand in hand.  Does that help…Not really!! I let the things lie around and one day when I finally move on, I wonder why they are still around and throw them. Maybe then there is certain short dress in animal prints that I won’t  throw away even if the man who gave me that is no longer in my life 🙂

When we say move on, do we really mean move on to someone / something else? may be till we meet the one with whom we like to stay still forever.

Wish you a very Happy new year ….. and this is for the lovers !

 You must remember this
A kiss is just a kiss, a sigh is just a sigh.
The fundamental things apply
As time goes by.

And when two lovers woo
They still say, “I love you.”
On that you can rely
No matter what the future brings
As time goes by.


7 Responses to “Moving on !!”

  1. girlsguidetosurvival January 4, 2011 at 9:46 pm #

    Yes, it is so true “move on” to what? New person, hobby or what?
    When nothing lasts for ever then why do people look for permanance in love?

    Your dear friend P is addicted to person and the drama associated with it. She won’t get out of it until she realizes life without adrenaline rush is interesting too. Unless she faces her need to be in drama she’ll keep doing what she is doing and you as a good friend will keep enabling her. 🙂

    About the stuff, it is just stuff but the emotion attached to it is so highly valued that stuff becomes valuable and clutters our lives…
    May be the stuff needs tomove on, declutter.

    Good post keep them rolling, Good Luck.
    Desi Girl

    • Sex And The Indian Cities January 5, 2011 at 12:47 am #

      DG : thats true we do seek permenance in love , even when our feelings cant stay permanent .

      she is an addict and we are all helping her to get out of it , she realises that she needs to be away from that relationship . thanks for the link . I hope she will read all the related topics at your page and get some sense. But then my question is we all after a certain age have sense , to some extend atleast ..then why we do things and get hurt .

      yea but i have seen guys who will wear a tshirt given by ex gf on a date with new girl..then why should we women give too much importance to stuff and attach emotions to them .
      thanks for your kind words 🙂

  2. girlsguidetosurvival January 5, 2011 at 3:26 am #

    …my question is we all after a certain age have sense , to some extend atleast ..then why we do things and get hurt.

    Our grownup troubles start much before we become adults. They have roots in our childhood in our homes. What we didn’t get at home, accepatance, love and kindness we try to find them outside. When we go around with our cup half full what ever rains in it makes a mess instead of filling it to the full.

    If one was more assured and accepting of themselves they’ll co create healthy relationships. If one did not get kindness and compassion growing up, they can give to themselves they don’t have to go around asking for it.
    If we can’t love ourselves why do we expect someone else could love us.
    I have learned: Be accepting of your self only then you’ll be sure what you are willing to put up with or else you’ll waste time compromising and being disgruntled.

    Women attach too much emotion to stuff because that is the only thing they feel they can control. Growing up they have no control on whay they can do and who they can be friends with, family honor, community scrutiny control their lives. When grownup their personal relationships- partner and his kin take over women’s decision making so all that is left is the stuff that they can control and attach emotion to.

    I personally feel accumulating stuff is a way to fill in a void and feel powerful. As a teen I excercised excessively coz’ my body was the only thing I could control, when parents said don’t do this, don’t do that. When on wheel chair I started buying things I did not need with the money I did not have to piss off the people I did not like. 🙂

    Hope this explains women’s emotions rested in stuff 🙂

    Desi Girl

    • Sex And The Indian Cities January 5, 2011 at 1:42 pm #

      thanks GD for your detailed reply on the complex questions … I have sent the link to my friend , hope it will help her in understanding herself and then finding the solution. she recently talked about this to her mom and saught help, may be she needs professional counselling.

      yes , indeed world does go around controlling things/ people ..whatever we can we do ..That does explain many things ..

      I manage to blogroll you in my blog .. You check your settings , I think You have put a limit to the number of blogs you can blogroll and thats why I am not visible there .

  3. Bikram January 17, 2011 at 10:24 pm #

    I jsut hope it works out for all the people you mentioned and the new year bring a wave of fresh life in everyone and may all get what they want and deserve…

    I maybe from old school but i still beleive that there can never be a Good reason for two people who love each other to break up.. the answer is NEVER
    there is nothing that two cant sit and resolve and talk out ….

    as i mentioned in my other comment we dont have patience and see every thing materialsitic…

    I have read all the comments on a few of ur articles and it seems its like men bashing thing, that men are doing the wrong .. but pity is its not so .. you probably have ladies who are goin through i can give u examples where the girls have done exactly the same to men…

    anyway sorry to have taken so much space… will visit again too

    • Sex And The Indian Cities January 18, 2011 at 12:47 am #

      I am an old school die hard romantic who dont believe in marriage …what that makes me ???

      there are never good reasons to break up , but their are bad reasons lies ,deceit, bad behaviour, dis-respect , possessivness…love and marriage are actually two very diffrent worlds …a relationship is more of love + compatibility+ understanding + good sense of humor + set of in laws u both can tolerate (if not love)

      I believe in sit and talk theory ..but when u have to talk about same thing every friday and actually spend your weeknd sulking and crying , you hardly feel like talking after some time is alright but where is that compassion ..
      men and women both suffer and both benefit from a bad and good relationship respectively …I have more male friends than ladies ..but guys normally like to observe and give a personal ” very nice article ” kinda feedback ..ladies prefer to speak out.

      • Bikram January 18, 2011 at 3:11 pm #

        ok i had to laugh .. yes indeed you wrote a VERY NICE ARTICLE 🙂 he hehe

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: